21 Effective Ways to Ask for Referrals (Even If You Hate Asking)
How To Ask For Referrals in Real Estate: Scripts, Social Media Tips, and an Email Template
Referrals are an essential part of a real estate agent's business, with over 82% of deals coming from referrals or past clients. Of those referrals, over 90% come from past clients and the agent’s sphere of influence (SOI)
However, traditional approaches to asking for referrals can be off-putting and ineffective. Instead, agents must be structured in how they ask for referrals, using a different approach that doesn't involve asking for names and phone numbers.
As a real estate agent, you need to understand how to ask for real estate referrals. Top producers in real estate not only provide excellent service when buying or selling real estate, but they also leverage people in their network to grow their business and stay top of mind.
Asking can be uncomfortable. As a modern real estate agent, you don’t want to seem “pushy” or “salesy.” It’s not the 1980s anymore and pushing your referral request on your sphere of influence is a quick way to lose friends.
However, not asking for referrals will lead to a dry pipeline.
What is the answer? How do we tactfully ask for referrals and how can we leverage social media?
In this post, you will learn how to generate leads using strategic scripts when asking for real estate referrals.
This podcast will highlight a new way to ask for referrals (if you hate asking)
Referral Statistics:
Did you know that according to the referral pro, Bill Cates, only 20% of satisfied clients will refer you while upwards of 98% of engaged clients will refer you? This means we need to figure out how to engage real estate buyers and sellers. An engaged client is a person who is happy with your service and you are top of mind with them.
This can be because you recently completed a transaction with this client, or you are great at staying in touch.
Traditional Approaches Don’t Work
Traditional approaches to asking for referrals in the real estate industry often fall short for several reasons:
Off-Putting: Directly asking for referrals, such as asking for names and phone numbers or who they know that's moving, can come off as pushy or salesy, making people hesitant to provide referrals (source)
Favour-oriented: When asking for referrals, it's important to avoid sounding like you're asking for a favour. This can make people feel obligated or uncomfortable, leading to fewer referrals (source)
Desperation: Asking for referrals in a desperate or pushy manner can make your business appear desperate for new customers, which may not leave a positive impression (source)
Awkwardness: Asking for referrals can feel awkward, and many people may not know how to approach the topic without feeling uncomfortable (source)
To overcome these challenges, it's important to adopt a more effective approach that focuses on building relationships and providing value to clients. This can include indirectly asking for referrals by letting clients know that you're trying to grow your small business and asking for their ideas. By appealing to their desire to support small businesses and asking for help or advice, you can create a more comfortable and effective environment for referrals.
A New and Improved Way To Ask - Pure Gold
Alternative Approach: Asking Without Asking
Instead of directly asking for names and phone numbers, ask for referrals by simply letting the client know that you are trying to grow your small business and asking them if they have any ideas that could help with this. This approach indirectly asks for referrals, but in a way that is not off-putting to the client.
“I’m looking for ways to grow my small business - do you have any ideas?”
@revrealestateschool Referrals in real estate can be hard. Try this new technique if you hate asking for referrals #referrals #realestatereferrals #realtortips #coaching ♬ original sound - Rev Real Estate (Realtor Tips)
The words "small business" when referring to your business, as people generally want to support small businesses. Additionally, asking for help or advice from the client can invoke the Benjamin Franklin effect, making the client more drawn to you.
Why We Don’t Ask for Referrals:
As real estate agents, there are a few reasons why we don’t ask for referrals from our sphere of influence or our past clients.
These are the main reasons
- We Don’t Know When To Ask
- We Don’t Know How To Ask
- We Don’t Want to Appear Salesy or Desperate
All these problems can be solved with proper planning. The best time to ask?
When they are happy 😀.
Happy clients are more likely to refer us, but how do we know when the clients are happy?
One of the easiest ways to tell if a client is happy with the service is when they simply say, “thank you.”
Therefore, we can ask for a referral at various times throughout the transaction. We don’t need to wait for possession day. Potentially they say, “thank you” after a long day of showings, or when an offer has been accepted. Alternatively, even when you have followed up with them after a year in their home! Just look for times when they say thank you and know that this is a time you can ask!
How To Prepare To Ask - The Mental Side
There are two important parts to preparing to ask for a referral. Without this preparation, you run the risk of an awkward ask or you may come across as insincere.
First, make sure you understand your value as a real estate agent. For REALTORs that have been in the business for several years, this may be easy. But for newer agents, this can be a challenge. Newer agents are still building their skills and confidence, so knowing your value should be the first place to start.
Hack: Understand that you are providing top-level service to your clients, and they need you. Since your level of service is so high, it is your responsibility to let them know you can help other people that they may know. This changes the dynamic from you asking to you offering your services to their network.
The second is being confident in your ask. Avoid using filler words, and be clear when you ask.
Avoid, “maybe, if it isn’t too much trouble, etc.”
Going back to the first part, their network needs to know about you because you offer such a high level of service.
Who Should They Ask:
Part of asking for a referral in real estate is coaching the client to understand who they should be thinking of when it comes to a referral. Due to the time real estate agents spend with their clients, you get to know your buyers and sellers over time. As your relationship grows, you will probably begin to hear more about their life and people that will need an agent soon.
In your conversation with your clients, keep an ear out for people whom they know that have changes in their life.
Tip: Here are nine reasons people could be moving in the future
Pay attention to life changes as these people are likely going to be moving soon. Even if they don’t know they are!
Referral Hacks
Here are a few tips to help you leverage your referrals.
1) Fear of Referrals – Know that you will have a part of you that will be scared when you ask for a referral. It can take approximately nine asks before you become more comfortable asking for referrals. (Learn more: Fear of Rejection)
2) Magic Words – Below, you will learn the exact scripts, but when asking for referrals, try to use the word “introduction” over “referral.” Asking for an introduction gives them more direction. If they are going to introduce you, then they know that they will be the one making the connection.
3) Lost Touch – If you have lost touch with someone that you wish to ask for a referral from, don’t make your first contact an ask for a referral. Instead, reengage the person with general conversation or an item of value before you ask.
4) Who To Ask – In order, ask people that already really like you (close friends, family, etc), then ask those that have referred you in the past, and then ask people that came to you as a referral. After you have asked these groups, you can move on to other groups of past clients and your sphere of influence.
5) Social Media – Use social media to both ask for referrals and send referrals. People that see you sending referrals will naturally send referrals your way as well. (See the section below showing how to ask for a referral on social media)
Benjamin Franklin Effect
This concept was first introduced by, Benjamin Franklin (no kidding) and it stipulates that we tend to like those more if we help them.
This seems counterintuitive. We think the person that is benefiting should like the person providing the service more. In fact, the person that is helping tends to like the person that requested the help more.
When asking for referrals, keep in mind that the person that is referring you feels great about themselves. By giving them the opportunity to provide you with a referral, they are usually happy to help as it makes them feel better as well.
The Power of An Out
This powerful concept can be used in many ways in real estate. This is a method of giving the person an easy out and lowering their guard.
Using the Power of An Out, you are finishing your ask with
“No need to respond”
“No pressure”
By letting the person know that there is “no need for them to respond,” you are giving them an easy out. The funny thing about it is it makes them want to respond more!
The Pattern Interrupt Ask
In real estate, there are the standard questions we know. Questions like, “do you know anyone who is looking to buy or sell real estate?”
It is like when you are browsing in a store, and the clerk asks, “can I help you find anything?” What is your natural response? “Just browsing”
What if they ask you this in a different way? That is the point of a Pattern Interrupt Ask. You are asking the same thing but in a different way.
Instead of, “do you know anyone who is looking to buy or sell real estate?”
You can ask
“Do you know anyone who could use some real estate advice?”
“Do you know anyone who would want to know what homes are selling for in their neighborhood?”
Since this isn’t the standard way of asking, it causes the person to pause and think about the request differently.
Scripts:
This script is focused on trying to make the person you are asking comfortable. Asking and being asked for a referral can be uncomfortable but it is necessary in real estate sales. This script will provide additional comfort for everyone.
“Hi _______, there is something I want to run past you quick. Many of our clients like to introduce our services to others. I just thought if that opportunity ever presented itself to you, I would let you know how we handle that so you feel comfortable. First off, everything is confidential and we handle these situations with great care. For example, we don’t like to call people out of the blue, so to make everyone comfortable, we prefer introductions. How that looks is if you identify someone we should chat with about real estate, feel free to pass on our name and introduce us by email or phone.”
Or the following script is focused on creating some humor in the process. Humor can help people become so much more comfortable.
“Hi ________, it’s been such a pleasure working with you. Now, do you know anyone that you would want as a neighbor? If so, feel free to let me know and I can chat with them about their real estate needs!
If you would prefer to ask online or through social media. You can grab a quick email template in the post below!
How To Ask For Real Estate Referrals On Social Media
The Ask on Social Media
First off, most real estate agents over-complicate the referral request process. Thoughts of doubt creep in. Agents seem like they would rather lose a lead than ask for a referral. Even if we say this is not true, our actions say differently.
Don’t over complicate it and worry about feeling “pushy.” In most cases, the person you are asking wants nothing more than to help you.
A few weeks ago, one of my website copywriters reached out and asked for a referral. He simply said it has been great working with and if I know of any other real estate agents that could use some help, he would love it if I kept him in mind.
That prompted me to start thinking of other agents. I was happy with his service and I wanted others to benefit from his work too.
He didn’t overcomplicate it. He simply asked me to keep his name in mind if I heard of any other agents who need help.
Make It Easy
If you are asking for someone to do something (like send you a referral), you need to make it super easy for them. If you are asking for this on Facebook, then you need to share the EXACT way they can provide you with the referral.
Although people want to help, if you don’t give them clear directions of how to help, you will never get a referral.
In your Facebook post, make sure that you let them know at the end of the post exactly how they can send the referral.
“Do you know anyone who would want to know what homes are selling for in their neighborhood? If so, send me a quick Facebook message and I will get right to work!”
Clear ask with clear instructions!
Use a Story on Facebook of Instagram
On Facebook and Instagram, you have the power to share an eye-catching photo or video and use some compelling text. If you really want to get people to respond, use the power of a story.
Take a photo of a family in their new house or with a sold sign. Share some details (with their consent) about the success story and share this on social media. In the last section of your post, use the Pattern Interrupt Ask with the Power of An Out.
Text:
I quickly wanted to share the story of the Johnsons. They needed to sell their townhouse and move to a larger home to accommodate their beautiful growing family. We had their home on the market for 2 weeks and we were able to find a great buyer for their home. Now they have found their dream home and we are just waiting for possession!
Do you know anyone who is looking for real estate advice? No pressure, but if so, feel free to shoot me a quick Facebook message!
This post draws in the user with the story. Plus, it uses a Pattern Interrupt Ask with the Power of an Out and easy instructions. Pair this with a short video or a photo of the family and you have a winning referral request on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
I Don’t Have a Recent Success Story
No worries! You can do the same thing by documenting your day. People love to know what is happening behind the scenes in real estate.
Take a photo of yourself preparing a market evaluation or putting together community stats for an area. You can post the same thing with a short story and a photo of yourself.
You can also use a video or photo of you in an open house or door knocking. The opportunities are endless!
Avoid Spammy Posts
Whatever you do, don’t just post on social media asking for the business. This comes across as “spammy” and is off-putting. Make sure that you post with a story, photo, and/or video.
You don’t want to make the post about the ask. You want to make the post about the story.
You don’t want to make the post about the ask, you want to make the post about the story.
When people ask, “what is spammy and what isn’t,” my response is, “you know a spammy post when you see it.”
The best rule of thumb is never to make the post about the ask.
Give Referrals
To receive more referrals on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, start giving more referrals. Without a doubt, there are people in your network that would love referrals and if not, people in your network are close with others that would love referrals.
By giving referrals on Facebook, you establish yourself as the connector and a giver. When people think of needing someone, your name comes up. In being this person, you become the go-to resource for people in your network.
When you need a service provider, put out a post asking your network for an electrician, painter, or their favorite restaurant.
When to Ask a Seller for a Referral
The main technique to help overcome fearing rejection is focusing on the effort and not the result. You are praising the act of asking for a referral and not what comes of asking.
You can’t control the result, but you have complete power over the effort.
In particular, asking sellers for a referral can be challenging. Especially if they are leaving town.
The reason most REALTORs struggle with this finding the right time to ask the seller for a referral is difficult. If they are leaving town, do you ask after closing? Or while they are in the final stretch of packing up for their move? All of these times can be great but there is one time that most real estate agents don’t think about: when the buyer has removed conditions.
This can be such a powerful time. The seller is excited that their home is now officially sold and they can start packing up. This doesn’t mean this is the only time you should ask for a referral, it’s just an effective time to ask.
At this point, they are usually talkative with their friends and family about the sale. Also, the sold sign goes up!
Script for Asking for Referrals in Real Estate
Hi [Name],
Congrats again on the home sale! Between the packing and organizing, I hope you still get a chance to celebrate.
I really did enjoy working with you and would love to work with more people like you! If you know of anyone who may be looking for real estate advice, we are always on the hunt for more great clients like you. We work almost exclusively by referral, so if anyone comes to mind, we are always happy to help. (If not, no worries, of course)
Regardless, it has been such a pleasure working with you and, I’m looking forward to working closely with you on the final stretch as we approach possession.
Regards,
[Your Name]
Bonus: Asking for a Referral Over Email
The following is my exact template for asking for a referral over email. Feel free to copy and paste!
Hi NAME
I hope all is well! Looking forward to catching up with you soon!
Because we worked together, if anyone comes up in your network that may need real estate advice, I'm always happy to help. We work almost exclusively on referrals, so we always make a point of asking our great clients if they know anyone.
No need to respond - we are just huge on referrals so if anyone comes up, we are always happy to help.
Chat soon!
Be strategic with your ask and always give the person an out.
Follow Up Reading
The Best Time to Ask a Seller for a Referral
Overcoming The Fear of Rejection in Real Estate
Conclusion:
It’s important to know that asking for a referral may be slightly uncomfortable, but it gets easier with time. Using a strategic approach to asking for real estate referrals from clients goes a long way. This is one of the main drivers behind becoming a top producer and getting a steady stream of buyer and seller real estate leads.
Sources: